The Summer Wind
by Limonatta
Summary: I'm with my true love now, living a dream, a fairytale. But... I did know that his heart lies with someone else... I always had. It's not that we didn't care, though, just that I loved him too much.


Author's Notes: It's been so long since I posted a story here, hasn't it? o.O I've been missing here!! I really want to curse my teachers to a lifetime of homework... sorry, random thoughts. On with the story.

Well, this was inspired by a story I read some time ago... it's called 'The Summer Wind', if anyone wants to read it. ;P This is named after that because... I currently lack the inspiration to think up a better title. D:

-UPDATE-: Yes, I AM going on an editing spree... no, I currently still lack the inspiration to actually write. Oh wellz... :S

Disclaimer: If I owned Detective Conan (note the 'if') you really think I'm going to be here? Unless if I'm Aoyama in disguise... -_-

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**~ T h e . S u m m e r . W i n d ~**

_(complete)_

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_-before the downfall of the Black Organisation-_

**I** never stopped worrying.

I was always thinking of you, wondering where you were, and worrying about your safety. I would never get a complete peace of mind, except after the times you telephoned me, which you did ever so rarely. I want to see you again, but you always said no.

Somehow, though, Conan-kun would always manage to reassure me. I don't know how he does it; maybe it's just a child's instinct. He reminded me so much of you, though, and that was all that mattered to me. I did feel guilty, though, for your sake and his, that I was trying to reassure myself with him.

I suspected that you _were_ him, once. And I was… scared. Because Conan-kun is so close to Agasa-hakase's charge, Ai-chan, and if he really _was_ you, then what was I to you, then? It was foolish, wasn't it? But I was so desperate for your return, I was going to believe anything.

And then… you appeared. I couldn't believe it. It was a grayish day, and then it starting raining hard, almost hailing. The sky was dark, and sometimes lightning flashed incessantly. Thunder echoed. And I heard a knock on the door.

I open it… and it's you. My mouth drops open, I stare at you in shock. I feel my heart sinking at your upset, urgent expression, and my eyes travel downwards until I see that small, bloody bundle in your arms.

"Sh-shinichi?" I whisper uncertainly. I see a flash of strawberry-blonde hair. "And… Ai-chan?"

"Ran," you say, tersely. "I can explain everything later. Can you call an ambulance now?"

I'm so in shock that I do as you tell me without questioning anything. I don't even ask you about your lack of your mobile phone. I don't even ask you about how Ai-chan got injured.

I was too scared, for Ai-chan's sake, and mine.

It was some time later, that I found out exactly, what was going on. But by then, it was already too late.

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_-after the downfall of the Black Organisation-_

**Y**OU explain everything to me.

I find out how you were able to defeat that syndicate you called the 'Black Organisation". I find out that you were really Conan-kun. I'm hurt, but I also feel a tiny bit glad that you tried to protect me. I find out everything about the 'Black Organisation'. I find out about what you've been up to, who's been helping you, and who hasn't.

Basically, you've told me everything. But I can't help but think something's missing.

Something…

"What about…" I whisper timidly. "What about Ai-chan?"

You jump in shock, and stare at me with a haunted expression. "I… I…" I wait patiently for an answer, ready to scold you for bringing a child into the events. Ai-chan was only a little girl!

But what you spoke next was something I didn't anticipate. "I've got to go now," you whisper raggedly, with that haunted expression still plastered on your face. "I need to see if she's still all right."

You disappear even before I ask if I can come too, leaving me confused, and still without an answer.

-

_-some time later-_

**Y**OU don't come back. So I come looking for you.

I find you on top of the building of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police offices. You're leaning against the railing, arms propped up against your chin, your eyes staring unwavering, though seemingly unseeing, into the traffic below…

I stand behind the door, peeking out, admiring the way your short hair flutters in the hair, the way your eyes always seem so focused even when they're not, the confidence you radiate every time you move.

I don't even need to say it to myself now. I just know.

I know that I'm in love with you, Kudo Shinichi.

I don't know when it started. It was just this feeling… this small feeling at the back of my mind, hidden in the depths of my heart, which has silently come creeping out, and I didn't know of its existence until it's here.

I don't know how you feel about me. But I hope, that someday, somehow, you will feel the same way about me as I do about you.

-

_-coming back-_

**I** ask you about Ai-chan.

It's only after a long drawn-out silence that you reply.

"She's… disappeared," you say. Your words are slightly choked up. You look away, look down, anywhere but me.

Was it guilt? Or worry? Or something else?

"Disappeared?" I ask, softly.

"Yes," you answer. I wait for you to elaborate. You don't.

There's this look in your eyes. I can't fathom it, but it looks like it's sadness, worry, grief, annoyance, determination all mixed in one. There's also a sharpness, a cool calculating look, as if you're thinking hard about something, figuring something out… a look I've only seen you use at crime scenes.

Why?

"Oh, Shinichi," I say softly. I hesitantly slip my hand through yours. You hold on.

Is this the right time? Is this the right time to tell you how I feel?

I do anyway. Then I kiss you.

You don't resist or push me away. You kiss me back with equal affection and warmth. You reach out and wrap your arms around me.

I'm so happy. My heart is flying, and I feel like I can die happy because I know you love me as well.

I wouldn't die so soon, though, because I want to be right here, with you, forever.

I close my eyes, in heaven, in bliss.

Maybe that's why I didn't notice yours were still open.

-

_-two months since the downfall-_

**Y**OU'VE been looking everywhere for Ai-chan.

You've dragged me along with you to every single lead you have, which always finish up at a dead end. You can describe her as if she was standing right in front of you. There's this… intensity… in your eyes.

I don't know why you're still looking for her. I try to tell you, once, twice, three times, more. You don't listen.

Didn't they tell us that the syndicate you destroyed, the Black Organisation… that one of the last members must have kidnapped her and… for want of a better word, disposed of her, as a final revenge? I don't like the idea, either, but it's the only plausible conclusion, isn't it?

Little girls don't just _disappear_.

I want to believe that you're only looking for her, because she's only an innocent girl. Because you don't want people to be hurt in any of your cases. Because she was so young, and still had a long and promising life in front of her.

Yet I know that there's so much more to it than that.

-

_-one year since the downfall-_

**W**E'RE engaged.

My ring shimmers on my finger, diamonds glinting, and every time I see it, I glow with happiness.

This really is a fairytale. I'm living a fairytale, me the princess, with you as my prince.

Our fairytale wedding is next month.

But… are you really 'mine'?

I try to fight against the truth, even though it's right in my face. Every day I look at you, look into your eyes, I'm painfully reminded of it. I try with all my heart to defeat it.

But I can't.

The truth is that… somehow, you've fallen for Ai-chan instead. She's only a little girl. I don't know why. Maybe there's something special about her, something different, which I haven't noticed.

But of course I have. I've always known that there is something different with Ai-chan.

I _do_ know that there is no such thing as fairytales. I've known that… until that day when I kissed you. Then, I truly believed.

How foolish of me…

Though, I don't care…

I love you so much.

I just want to see you smile again.

-

**T**ODAY, there's a knock on the door. You were in the kitchen, trying to cook something. I don't think it's going well, due to the slight smoke wavering around and the burnt smell, so I go answer the door myself.

I open the door. It's bright and sunny, and I can feel the warmth of the sunlight upon me. A slight tepid wind blows softly, tickling my skin. A summer wind?

Then...

I see her.

Time stops. I can't seem to move, and I can barely utter a word.

"A-ai-chan?" I whisper. It can't be. This seems like an older version of Ai-chan… now she looks like my age… but…

A few moment pass, with the Ai-chan look-alike looking at me with her usual trademark cool face… a small smile tugging at her lips. Yes, this is Ai-chan, all right...

But... Smile? Ai-chan? But…

"Yes," Ai-chan says quietly, seemingly understanding my shock. "It's me. Did Kudo-kun tell you? I'm the same as him."

The same as you? I try to process this fact. But… you told me everything… yet you didn't tell me about Ai-chan … suddenly I understand. I understand how you feel.

You've been more loyal to her than me. You have no idea how much those words hurt me. But I love you too much. I want you to be happy.

I invite Ai-chan inside, and she steps over the threshold delicately. I show her to the kitchen.

You're still trying to cook, and I can see Ai-chan's lips pulling up with a smirk, so much like how I remembered her teasing you as Conan-kun.

You don't see her. She's too scared to speak. So I speak for her.

I don't know why, and perhaps I never will. But when you turn around and see her, the look in your eyes is reward enough.

A look of shock and disbelief and joy beyond words.

And for the first time in years, I see you smile for real.

-

_.la fin._

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